Math, the bane of my existence
If I could turn back time, I would have loved to become best friends with my worst enemy — Maths
I hated learning maths because it was the bane of my existence. I struggled with maths since my primary school days. I found it confusing, and numbers didn’t make sense. I still remember questioning myself on when will I ever need to figure out how many watermelons someone has after working on tons of those kinds of problem sums. The day I collected my results for PSLE, I saw an E for maths on my results slip. That pulled down my overall score, and the choices for secondary schools were limited because in most schools I could only get in via the Normal Technical stream and in other few, I fit the Normal Academic stream.
Although the Normal Academic school was further from home, it only made sense for me to go there. The whole ordeal really affected me, and it got me to really start focusing on the subject I hated the most. Math in the first 2 years of secondary school felt manageable for the first time. However, that was because of the remedial lessons and night classes I took (I didn’t want to burden my single-parent mom with tuition fees, so I did it the old school way). After my secondary two end-of-year exams, I just scrapped past the required results to be laterally transferred to the express stream.
I pounced on that opportunity because that meant 1 year less of school. But deep down I knew I’d be facing a more advanced level of maths and I’ll have to play catch up. Instead, my weak foundations in math caught up with me. I used to fail almost every test and exam when it came to math. That made me hate the subject even more.
The funny thing was in secondary three you had to choose an elective subject; it was either A-maths, Principle of Accounts (POA) or Arts in my school. I didn’t know how to draw, and amongst the two numbers subject, POA seemed to be the lesser evil. My hatred for numbers just translated over, and I was struggling with POA as well. However, it was still more manageable as compared to e-maths. I was also lucky my POA teacher was really caring, and he used to make me practice intensively in-between subjects.
When I sat for my maths o-levels paper, I knew it was going to be bad. I did not attempt the last few questions because I ran out of time struggling on the first half of the exam sheet. When it was time to collect my results after O’s, I knew it was going to be bad. But not as bad as how it panned out to be.
When I opened my results slip, I saw Bs and Cs, but one alphabet stuck out like a sore thumb. E accompanied with the number 8. It felt like the whole PSLE ordeal again. E8 for maths was, and I believe it still is a death sentence for many. When I looked down the slip to see all the tertiary schools, I could apply to. I only saw ITEs. The only two options I had at that point of collecting my results were either retaking my Os or going to ITE. My heart was in my throat, and a tear rolled down my cheek. Retaking Os in school or going to ITE was the last thing I wanted to do because of the social stigma that was attributed to it.
Something that I’ve yet to mention in this “story” was the fact that throughout my schooling life, I held a leadership position in the school’s student council. In primary school, I was the head prefect. And in secondary school, I was the school’s vice head councillor.
With that, I felt that I did not only fail myself, but I failed my school. But little did I know the passion I had in leadership and the time I served in the student council would come back to save me. I applied to various polytechnics through the Joint Polytechnic Special Admissions Exercise (JPSAE) scheme and landed myself into a polytechnic. I count my blessing till this day for that.
As I grew older, I learnt that education was only one facet to personal development and I was sure to be more involved with other extra circular activities that assisted me with prepping for the “real world.”
I would be lying if I said I breeze through poly. I fumbled through it and barely passed my math-related modules. I went to a private university after poly and graduated with a second upper honours degree.
If I could turn back time, I would have loved to become best friends with my worst enemy (maths). If you’re reading this and you hate maths too. I implore you to figure out a way to change your mindset on math. Make it fun, gamify it, fall in love with it! Because at the end of the day, your arch-enemy could teach you a crucial lesson.
But if you’ve tried your best and you don’t succeed, it’s never the end of the world. It’s just the beginning of an awesome adventure!
- Jit
Jit is one of our writer who shares their personal learning journey. We are grateful for his candour as his story has really touched our hearts, and we hope that his story has inspired you as well.
